It’s been a while but I’m so happy to be back 🙂 Typically, when I find time to write here, I have made enough space in my soul to feel comfortable extracting things from it. so YAY! here is to soul extraction time! ahah. It is still very strange to me that writing in english is easier, but I feel less judged. It allows me to make mistakes.
Well ok so, at the beginning of this year, I set some intentions, the main one was seeing more friends, and meeting new people.
I am a BIG extravert, I adore people, their story, their vision of life, because I always learn something new, and it helps me calibrate my own stuff. And very often, putting things in perspective. Even though I have to say, we tend to evolve within a very close circle, and I think that might be the next step for me, opening more this circle…
anyway, over the last few week-ends, we have been lucky enough to escape with loved ones, and exploring our surroundings, with and without our kids, but every time with friends and new people. I quickly realised that very few of them opened up about covid traumas, and changes they went through. but everyone was keen on sharing their current experiences, struggles, questions. I wondered if growing up (or getting older ayayay) does not allow us to be more willing to listen to each other, and noticing quickly who we are going to bond with. who do we feel connected with. usually the deeper conversation I have with introverts. I like to make them talk like I would extract gems.
I used to feel the need to connect with the largest amount of people, in the same way. Now I am a little more relaxed. I am aware of the type of people I might better click with, and go deeper with, and I accept this. It is actually harder for me, being such an extravert to take the time to really make space for emptiness and observation, as I always want to create a movement, but the older I get, the more I appreciate being an outsider, that people are able to talk to more easily. I don’t need to always go and get what I want. sometimes it comes naturally and it’s nice!
I love those times of reconnection with others. Honestly, I was a little scared, because I gained a little weight, I lost my dream job, and with it a chunk of confidence, I definitely got shaken up, unexpectedly. But yet health is still good and I really can’t complain about life thanks to that. But I realise now that I am not alone in this quest for happiness, being uncomfortable with our own vulnerability and story, we are all constantly looking for our best fit in this world, and I find this reassuring. I love being remembered that for me, equilibrium does not come from food, from sport, from culture. It starts with people, who lead me to what makes me feel good. But in order to hear them, I need to create space.