Le quart d’heure parents


Petit coup de mou ces derniers temps… Le mois de juin me fait le même effet niveau stress que septembre pratiquement. Sauf qu’on a le droit à une jolie carotte au bout quand même… Mais d’un coup tout le monde (moi y compris…) s’agite dans tous les sens pour que tout ce que l’on n’a pas réussi à faire dans l’année rentre dans 30 jours : rendez-vous docteurs, régime, épilation, invitations dîners, fête d’école… J’ai toujours l’impression que la motivation générale est de 2% pendant 10 mois et là c’est la totale.

Du coup, ça me stresse, je panique, je m’énerve trop fort et je pleure toujours pareil et non, je ne vais pas avoir mes règles je suis juste en surchauffe. Comme si je jonglais et que si jamais je laisse tomber une seule balle (sur les 60) c’est la fin du monde. Du coup, je fais exactement l’inverse de ce que mon esprit peut supporter, a savoir ne pas du tout me laisser le temps de Respirer, et après c’est la cata.

Ce qui m’a inspiré ce post, c’est quand même mon plus jeune fils hier en me voyant pas au top de ma forme, qui me prend dans les bras et se met a respirer en comptant pour que je suive son exemple (sans me demander de suivre son exemple la déjà ça calme, il vient d’avoir 7 ans…). je dis a toute la famille désolée, ça va s’arranger, mais parfois, je suis triste et je ne sais pas forcément pourquoi. (Je sais un peu pourquoi quand même, je me sens – c’est mon impression qui n’est pas forcément la réalité souvent solo a tout gérer et parfois c’est too much et je craque.)

Et là, le pitchoun de 7 ans me regarde droit. Dans les yeux et me dis: “je comprends maman, moi aussi ca me fait la même chose. Mais on est quand même un homme. Quand on réagit comme ça pas vrai?”

bim re-petit moment de calibrage dans mon cerveau. Oui mon chéri. On a tous le droit (besoin??) d’exprimer sa joie, sa tristesse, ses doutes meme quand on est un garçon. J’ai toujours su qu’il était très sensible, mais j’ai toujours trouvé ça scandaleux qu’on mette une étiquette direct d’hypersensible. parce que pour moi cette sensibilité elle me permet aussi d e m’extasier devant les couleurs d’un insecte, le gout d’une huile, des nuages, et se baigner dans la Mer. La moindre action de ma vie peut m’inspirer un poème,un tableau, et je ressens beaucoup de chose a beaucoup de moment. C’est juste qu’il faut que je fasse attention à certaines choses :

  • ne pas culpabiliser quand j’ai une mauvaise nuit ca veut dire que j’ai trop de trucs dans la tête, qu’il f faut que j e délégue plus (Je déteste déléguer, j’estime que. tout le monde doit lire. dans mes pensées et mes envies) et souvent la nuit. J’ai des idées géniales.
  • ne pas culpabiliser de passer du temps devant un écran tant que je ne perds pas trop mon temps ou ma confiance en moi (suivre les bons comptes, lire. les articles que je. sauvegarde, échanger vraiment avec les. gens, chercher vraiment une idée de week-end ou de resto et le reserver)
  • Vraiment arrêter de forcer les choses, et les gens. Si on se voit tant mieux, et sinon c’est pas grave. Je suis constamment en train de vouloir remplir les vides alors qu’ils sont le meilleur moyen de savoir ce dont j’ai besoin
  • Apprendre et créer c’est ce qui me nourrit le plus, alors je devrais changer l’équilibrer de mon assiette de temps libre en 2/3 apprendre, créer et faire du sport, 1/3 admin, RDV, orga et social.
  • Continuer à dire quand ça ne va pas. Ne pas perdre trop de temps a rejeter la faute sur les autres, parce qu’ils ne peuvent pas. Toujours voir les choses comme nous, surtout s’ils ne sont pas hypersensibles. Et take action comme disent les Américains. Ma famille me manque alors je vais les appeler au lieu de me lamenter sur mon sort que je suis la seule a organiser des rucs, mon mec ne me prend pas assez dans les bras et ne me regarde plus assez dans les yeux je vais le faire moi deja pour commencer et ensuite on verra ce qu’il se passe mes enfants foutent un bordel monstre, je vais lâcher du lest et leur donner des timings raisonnable pour ranger…
  • Savoir bien s’entourer. Je sais quel pharmacien saura me donner les vitamines parfaites, quelle esthéticienne saura prendre. Soin de moi, quelle copine connaît les bons plans gym… ca. demande de l’énergie, de la motivation, mais prendre soin de soi c’est vraiment la clé du bonheur, et c’est le contraire de l’égoïsme (avec modération peut-être) puisqu’après on rayonne plus?
  • investir dans le beau. Fleurs, deco, habits, les belles choses font du bien et ravie est courte. Pareil sans tomber dans l’excès c’est important de se faire plaisir. Moi j’ai tendance a être trop raisonnable…

Bref. Vous faites quoi vous ?? Hypersensible ou pas!!

Top 5 vineyards who do Christmas right!

how many people have asked you what you / your kids/ your whoever want for xmas? I mean seriously guys. I’m still not over the fact summer is over and now what? Christmas. can we PAUSE for a second??? I don’t want to do xmas shopping at all right now. Because Im not sure what I want actually in this crazy COVID WORLD. Anytime I am dreaming about a place, an adventure, someone is shutting a freakin’ border. no you’re right. I did not really plan anything. but of all places, we did want to go surfing in Morocco and now we can’t. also because we need to save a little more. France really pays way less than USA. exactly how they describe it in this unbelievable TV show featuring our old life with literally all of our best friends from Portland.

ANYWHO

this was my venting minute, thank you for listening. I always like to complain a bit so then when I am happy shiny again it seems so unexpected. so focusing on local, close, easy and safe, here is a tour of the best of vineyards offering magical experiences for xmas! GO please go! they do need you before someone shut them off again! now more than ever there is no time to be lazy my friend. you got to enjoy every damn piece of this weird, weird life.

FIRST (because I am dragging my whole fam + friends / meaning two families total :)…

1- NOEL AU PEY BLANC! starting at 11am

so fun! they offer kids workshop, so parents (and normal life people) can enjoy a wine tasting, catered food and music.

2- WEEK END FEERIQUES AU DOMAINE DE MANVILLE

Every week end in December, le Domaine is exploring Christmas through art (4-5th of December), Music (11-12 of December) and horse-riding sleight (18-19). All of which can be accompanied by hot cocoa and delicatessen.

3- Marché de Noël au Domaine Château Henri Bonnaud!

if you havent found all your gifts yet, you will probably find some hidden local gems there! I’ve never been but heard it’s gorgeous!

4- Noël a Beaupré

We stumble upon this insanely stunning property (from 1739!?!?!) with my mother last Sunday and discovered that they were planning a ton of fun events for the month to come. All around food & wine pairings, to finish with a local gift market to promote their talented neighbors! By the way I love their little delicatessen store, they have such a good choice of food and wine. a must!

5- Noël au Domaine de Fontainebleau (En Provence! not the one near Paris)

literally everything will happen within a few hours there. visit, kids workshops, market, wine tasting… you NAME it. this used to be in my family for many years so I cannot wait to go back and show it to my kids all beautiful for xmas!

voila!! Noël is officially in 23 days. TIME TO PANIC PEOPLE! Im not good for the things you have to do, the gift you have to shop. I am not too bad at picking the experiences you have to live as a family though 🙂

LA FLUIDITE

mmmmmm

I haven’t had the chance yet to meet the magical person my sister told me to. Apparently she shifts your energy in a dramatic yet beautiful way and then you feel more enlightened.

however I have been doing quite a bit of walking, running, and waxing, and I do feel pretty aligned these days.

so during one of my run, I realised that I cannot compare anymore present and past. I literally have to shift gears, in order to let what is be. And seriously start accepting the fact that I am making different choices now, from what I used to, which means I have to let go of certain things.

I never understood when my kids were little why they would destroy lego they just built. why would you do that. whats the point. I don’t like the idea of building from scratch, I like to feel connected to the past and aligned with everything that was build until now. fact is it’s clearly impossible. I do not have the time or the energy to feed into that kind of logic. My priorities have changed, my energy and body are changing, my face and my hair are changing, and I love the idea of embracing this totally, and let things happen more.

so fluidity is allowing me to finally say no to things, very nicely, and yes to new things and intuition. I really need to stop putting money first, as a filter to everything I do, think, and allow myself to shine through while being careful. if I am constantly putting money and status first I will never be able to show my real self. I will not have brain space to explore what life is hiding.

So I have decided to stop forcing myself to think about every idea as a potential gold mine, and every person as a magical unicorn, but instead feel more, and create space. someone made me realise that I recharge when I am by myself, and it’s true. I need space, time, and energy to fully be myself, and offer the best version to the people I love most.

now im going to bed, because I did not think I would feel the need for this type of post but I did, so voila! here is to beautiful fluidity and open mind.

Abstract psychedelic liquefied background. Magenta and Blue oil paints. Fractal artwork for creative design

Note to self: take one kid out more often

I tend to put everything that cross my mind in my calendar (usually shared with hubby for planning/ keeping me accountable for it), or on a to-do list, otherwise I forget my ideas…

Taking one of my son out for dinner was one of my latest additions. Why you may ask? Because I get distracted when we all go out (all= two kids+ two adults). I listen to the waiter, make sure my mascara does not leak (that’s a lie. i typically don’t wear make up because I hate to take it off AND I don’t want people to get used to a better version of myself ahah), serve water, order, drink wine, make sure kids use napkins, manners, wash hands, look at people around, (try to) make (bad) jokes and then barely have an actual discussion with anybody. how would you anyway in those conditions.

I told my husband a week ago, but didn’t tell anything to my son until 5 min before we left. I was relieved when he said “yes let’s go!” because I’m not always as confident about the level of closeness I have with my second son… I know it’s weird but that’s just how it feels… I just feel like he think I’m not that cool. “well too bad son, parents are not made to be cool”. (silent cry… of course all i want is to be so damn cool)

I nearly laughed when he said he would love to go to mc Donalds. I guess he was born in the states so… what what can one expect really. LOL

and then we actually got the chance to chat. favorite colors, red, pink and blue. all but black, because it’s too dark (that will probably change in about 10 years if he keeps asking me to play Enter Sandman but….)

when he grows up he wants to be a soccer player (great news!! vacation on a yacht yay!) today he cried because the teacher would not let him go pee (seriously??? come on people??!!)

girls are mean, especially one who used to be in love with him… (that’s weird though because a bunch of them scream his name to say goodbye like groupies when I pick him up from school, which I find cute and slightly scary for the future)

if he was an animal he would be an elephant because they are the biggest, and they have no predators. (THIS KID IS WAY MORE CLEVER THAN ME-> I said sea turtle and he said “seriously? you will be eaten on the beach by seagulls.” thanks. V. Thanks.)

and just things like that. nothing super crazy. next time I want to take him bowling. but it was just nice to catch up. because there is a lot happening during his day, and we typically don’t actually get to talk about it enough. I told him in the end: ” I just want you to know that I’m here for you. You can tell me anything, and if something happens at school and you get in trouble, I won’t add to it. I will just listen and try to help you”

I think parenting is definitely the most challenging adventure to my nerves, but most interesting for my soul.

love x

raffa

photo credits // Robert Doisneau ♥️

Happy things so far this week

Well first and foremost i went twice for a run, including Monday with a friend. It kicked off the week so nicely. Yay sport. So i can eat toast +butter

Booking my first ever singing class. LOL 😂

Going to the library by myself and spending so much time in the kids section. My favorite. So much goodness. I brought back like 20 books.

This songhttps://youtu.be/RCckn1H5DIE

Listening to my son playing drum with his dad

Eating a delicious pink squeeshy mochi

Going back to the cinema with my love, room filled with people. And Understanding the movie!!! (Dune)

Cheese filled gnocchi. Yes!!!!!!!

Buying a bird feeder 💞

Spending some time thinking through decorating my home. I don’t like the process of it but i get excited about the potential result…

Giving and receiving hugs

Listening to adult podcast on stuff like surviving in the wild, how to boost memory or other adult things. 😂 I feel like i finally start to belong to podcast community.

Full moon

Finalising kids vacation calendar while trying to please all grandparents, kids, and most importantly myself. Eheh

What is making you happy this week so far???

FALL re-alignement

this summer was hectic, busy, fun and exhausting. as i like my life to be. during the summer I felt a little overwhelmed at time, often asking myself wether or not I was at the right place, with the right people, basically wether I was surrounded by the right ENERGY.

I guess I was, because at the end of the summer I thought about a few things I should shift. I’m not sure wether you feel the same way or not, but for me September is way more a shifting moment, a great opportunity to explore, than January.

I have been sleeping pretty poorly, so this is the first thing on my list. Trying to avoir as much drugs as possible (it drives me insane how traditional doctors want to give you drugs, psy wants to spend hours asking you about your family, but there is not much in between in France) I don’t think I’m particularly stressed or malfunctioning. I think I’m acting like a newborn who is waking up every night at the same time, and I am going to try a few things to stop that habit. once I have found something really nice and legal I will let you know. SLEEP IS EVERYTHING!!! (and I hear lots of people struggling with it these days… which seems TOTALLY NORMAL)

balance with friends. I always want to meet new people, make things happen, kind of force it a bit sometimes. no more. I will do this with the people who care, who want, who make a move forward. I will not be spending time trying to force friendships that are not meant to be. Since I have made that shift, I have had some of the most inspiring, fun, interesting conversations ever. If people want to spend time with you they will let you know. I will say yes to those.

balance with work and home. I am launching my own consulting practice. it’s official. I am really excited about it, even though the economy is all over the place, I feel like it is the perfect move for me as a human being. I need more freedom to be the person I want to be. Shining the right values, putting time and effort where people need. I will not waste anymore time giving away my soul and my brain for peanuts anymore.

balance with my kids. no more (or very limited) alcohol when Im hanging out with them, I don’t want them to see this example in life, this way of relaxing. I realised it makes me more impatient and annoyed. how ironic!!! more time listening to them. I put my phone away as much as possible, sometimes full days. I have decided we need to laugh more. I remember when they were babies we laughed a lot, put on costumes and stuff. so I say yes when they want to play the drum at 7pm, I talk with funny voice, I look at them in the eyes….

Finally balance with myself. someday will be used for to-dos, some days will have to be more chill. I cannot be always on. I can actually but I really dont want to be. I need moments to breathe, observe and process!! Thanks to a friend of mine, I realised that some things actually really need to be done (cooking, paperwork…) but by doing the boring stuff, I allow myself more free time. more sport, more putting nail polish, more smiling at myself.

I think it’s a big list. but time flies, kids are growing fast, they are making jokes, they are gaining perspective, I can see a clear shift, and I want to be there for them along the way. For my family too, with the right distance at times, with my husband who supports me / listen to my craziness with love and patience. I want to be here now, and be ok with who I am, evolving, learning, just with the right amount of pressure to make magic happen!

do you feel the same about September? any “Fall resolution”?

the brief: 3 friends /3 days / 3 places in Provence

I was asked to share a short itinerary for the south of France so sharing this with you too!!

Tuesday Arrival Marseille/ train station (don’t hang out there too long it’s not the prettiest part of marseille):

check out at your hotel: Les bords de Mer or Nhow or Mama Shelter or Intercontinental.

book a table at Tuba club for apetizer dinner

take your swim suit and enjoy the view.

if no room, then check out Restaurant Baie des Singes, or 20000 Lieues. The goal is to be able to drink a Mauresque (anisée drink from Provence) overlooking at les Goudes (best spot in Marseille, most vacation like) while meditating in front of the sunset

If you want to hike, you can go either very early or very late to Calanques de Marseilleveyre

If you want to really experience fully les calanques from Marseille you can rent a boat, it’s AMAZING. they will take you to many secret spots, snorkling and swimming.

On Wednesday, I would wake up early, drive/ walk through la Corniche (most amazing view) and go to Le Bistro Plage for a coffee. Then check out Le Vieux port quickly because the place itself is phenomenal (in the summer though really hot and crowded), while you are on your way to Le Mucem. Note that on the 14th of July it’s France National day, so you need to be walking distance from where you sleep!! No driving after 6pm I would say…

extras: I think Notre Dame would take too long, and would be super crowded, but the view from there is insane, and decor inside gorgeous. There is a delicious pizza place called La Bonne Mère close by, and the Boulevard Vauban has cute concept stores, restaurants and ice cream places EMKIPOP.

Other extra is Abbaye Saint Victor + try les navettes from Four des Navettes + lunch @ Sessun Alma

ok then I would leave because it’s too hot and crowded in Marseille at this time of the year!!

Thursday, I would go to Aix, because it’s market day and it is awesome, and grab a coffee at la Brulerie Richelme. I would walk around, check out stores -aix is THE best shopping place in Provence- (I love COS, Sezane, Suncoo, The Kooples and Sandro… but everything is awesome) I would have lunch at La Rotonde

Then check out this exhibition in Aix right now, it’s gorgeous + get a pastrie @ Béchard.

I would then probably feel tired, so would want to go and chill by a pool, and the best one I have seen so far is Relais de Saint Ser. It’s practical because on the way to lots of vinyards (Gassier, Château de la Bégude, Domaine de Saint Ser…) and it has a lovely restaurant + hôtel.

Extra hotels: Golden Tulip, Mas d’Entremont or Chateau de la Gaude

On Friday I would want to see some amazing villages, so if I wake up early enough, drive to Roussillon and/ or Gordes + Sénanques Abbaye, and/or Isles sur la Sorgues, and pick up my plane. If I feel lazy I would simply drive to Chateau La Coste, spend the day there with the Art tour + amazing restaurant and call it a day!!

voilà!!! Enjoy!!!

Best of des soirées d’été à Aix!

Pour tous ceux qui n’ont pas encore un agenda à craquer, qui ont envie de profiter du plein air et de la liberté, voici ma petite sélection de lieux qui proposent des programmes sympa avec ou sans enfant cet été. On croit souvent que Juin est le plus rempli mais c’est vraiment en Juillet que ça chauffe!!

Château Gassier: concerts, cinéma en plein air et soirée astronomie. il faut s’y prendre tôt!

Festival de musique jazz et classique dans les plus beaux domaines de la région

Spectacle comique itinérant la Route des Vannes au Château de la Brillane

Le festival du cirque propose de nombreux événements, comme cette soirée poétique le “cabaret sous les étoiles”

Au Domaine de Fontblanche, à Vitrolles, ce festival de musique présente des têtes d’affiche sympa comme IAM ou Philippe Katerine

Spécial parents, le titre de ce show me tente tout particulièrement!!

Au cœur d’Aix, le Pavillon Vendôme organise tous les soirs des projections en plein air. Somptueux!

Apéro à la fraiche, musique, et ambiance Provence décontractée, Summer Chill by Villa Minna c’est gratuit et ambiance garantie!

Les Jeudi Chill en plein cœur d’aix, gratuit et facile d’accès, animations pour tous. On observe le cours de danse swing toujours dans Aix! Ça donne la pêche 🙂

On voyage avec du Jazz Brésilien au théâtre de verdure de la Garenne à 20 min d’Aix

Enfin un grand classique, mais les concerts dans le cadre idyllique du Château La Coste ont également repris!

La Guinguette du Pey Blanc: Vins – Pétanque – Empenadas!! Tous les 15 jours à partir de Vendredi 2 Juillet.

Voilà un été qui s’annonce plutôt bien!!! enjoy,

R.R

the smallest blog post ever. yet a massive game changer

not sure why I thought about that on my way to picking up my son the other day to a birthday party, but I guess that’s how my brain works. mostly random fun, sometimes useful things…

for those of you who have kids who get invited to birthday parties (congrats, you have 3 hours of life back). get the birthday kid a toy or book, if you want. but most importantly maybe get a bottle of wine (or vodka depending on the kids) for the parents who are hosting. they will need it afterwards. the parents seemed as chocked than happy when I handed them the bottle!!

voila! happy Sunday night!

Why is June the best time to come to Provence?

We had the honour to host a very dear friend of mine who came from USA over the last few weeks. There is nothing better for the soul than to have an amazing friend like her, booking tickets to come see you as soon as she know you feel a little lonely. I am very lucky to be surrounded by people who can, and who would do those kind of things for me. I hope you are too surrounded by lots of love and kindness. It’s pretty much all that matters in life to feel fulfilled and complete.

What was special is to rediscover where we live through her eyes. It’s so easy to get spoiled here in Provence, with all the castles, villages, wineries, sea, mountains… it’s non stop wonder. non stop light and elevating. So much at times you don’t even realise it anymore. my days sometimes are very small, my brain shrinks because of complaints, moods, lack of curiosity. but through special friends, with big eyes and appetite for life, things become so bright and colourful. Like this exhibition of Zao Wou-Ki I heard about recently.

I would like to share a few pictures here of beautiful images I would like to stick to my brain, and inspire you to travel again. My friend Sonja is trying to empower people to travel again as many place are opening back. My mum just did this amazing trek in Greece, and said it was insanely gorgeous and empty.

Things are getting back to normal slowly but June in Provence is my favorite. It’s not too crowded yet, beaches in Porquerolles were not too busy, this insane exhibition was nearly empty, restaurants do not require all reservations, and there are many events popping back up on the calendar. It’s lovely to feel like people are blooming again like cherry blossom in spring. Life is coming back, act of kindness seem inevitable, and most people need fun right now. good times my friends. let’s get back into it 🙂 we deserve this!!!