(i was inspired to write this note listening to boys don’t cry. I am finishing it up listening to my favorite classical piece EVER by Granados 🙂
a new year is starting. I just realised by looking at a pix in the picture of the two of us, hubby and I, many many years ago how time is really flying by. also noticed tonight how funny and grown up my youngest is. funny how sometimes you can notice more those little things because maybe you look at them differently, or pay more attention. in that case because my oldest was having tummy ache, i was exhausted from my day, so the two usual loud ones were off.
i don’t know for you but i go through total weirdness zone (asking myself what the f..k is happening right now, is this gonna last forever or what, or is this even real? am I even alive?) and total normal laugh, sport, work moments, like absolutely ignoring all of the pain and craziness. it makes me feel even weirder than I can be sometimes.
we had the best vacation. 2 weeks of fun, some cry, swimming in frozen méditerranéen sea, snowball fights in the mountains, eating a disgusting amount of food, getting along with pretty much the whole family. everyone was on a high. because of course on the !st of January we would be free of this stupid virus.
well nope. at times it feels even crazier now. the first week back was BRUTAL. waking up early again, when you thought you were good for hibernation mode is just painful. and everyone is full of resolution and energy, which is awesome for the planet, but a lot of pressure to sustain.
I LOVE resolution because they help me focus, and I need all the help to focus. Then I can track progresses, i feel useful and happy and can sleep well at night. what are your resolution this year?
Mine are pretty surprising this time. I am finaly doing a dry january. by the end of 2020 alcohol had no effect on my body which worried me. I exagerate only slightly. so basta cosi. i hate when i feel like i have no choice. people generally don’t like it when you quit drinking, as suddenly I would become lame. well no sorry, i can still crack on jokes, have a good time. i do want to go to bed early though, it’s weird!
Secondly, I want to meet new people. might be challenging these days… but I want to find a way to connect more with people I love, and through them meet fun people. I only want to hang out with people who give me positive energy! solution oriented people, who loves life as much as I do. meaning that can be an opened, authenticity. being positive does not necessarily means happy all the time. it means at the end of the day you do WANT to be happy.
The third one is gonna be way harder because i took bad habits for the last 5 years, nearly 6 now. I ABSOLUTELY need to spend more time with my kids separately. i just realized that I live in this complete non sense of thinking that good quality family time is TOGETHER, and it is not. together does not necessarily mean all together. i am still learning about them, how they communicate, what they like, what questions they might answer. if I dont spend time with them separately i won’t be able to make it work.
throughout the years, i took on many resolutions that seriously helped me out. invest time in myself, in my couple, in nutrition for health, laughing way more (in 2020 ah! who would have known ), in being in the moment and quit social media back in 2017 for a year (!!!), now i really feel the need to invest in my kids. i feel like they are still young enough to be enthusiastic about most things, grateful for time with me, and therefore it is my role to make time for this. as usual though, i try not to focus on feeling sad about not doing more before, because one always does its best, but being happy that i know how to make time for those things to come to my mind. whenever they do. as long as I still have some empty space in my brain for taking a step back and realising what is happening, I feel alive. I feel like I can contribute, and be helpful to this world.
I will let you know how it goes. i send you all my best dreams, songs, and sunsets for this new year.
mamaninprovence 